Well it looks like Hollywood was hit by the recent writer’s strike harder than we thought, I just ran across a list of movies Hollywood plans on “reimagining” and folks it ain’t pretty. Hold your breath or your nose as the case may be because I’m sure that some of these will be stinkers. I’m not gonna list them all, just some of the ones that stick out to me, if you wanna see the entire list check out http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/15211/38_planned_movie_remakes_you_didnt_know_about.html
Battle Royale: They are gonna screw this one up so bad it’s not even funny. If you haven’t seen the original do yourself a favor and rent it. It’s set in the not too distant future in Japan, classes of high school students are chosen at random to be transported to an island in the middle of nowhere and given a backpack with a map, supplies and in some cases a weapon. The rules are simple, it’s kill or be killed. At the end of 48 hours if your the sole survivor you win, if there are more than one survivor then everyone dies. It sounds brutal and it really is but it’s well worth watching.
The Evil Dead: According to scuttlebutt Sam Raimi is going to direct and exec produce along with Bruce Campbell so hopefully this one won’t suck but I gotta be honest with you I’m skeptical.
Friday The 13th/Last House On The Left/A Nightmare On Elm Street/Hellraiser: For the love of God why?! Clive Barker is working on the Hellraiser remake but word has it that Doug Bradley is out as Pinhead. WHAT?! He IS Pinhead! How can you leave him out of the remake? And Michael Bay doing Nightmare? Hollywood what have we done to piss you off that you would do this to us? Whatever it is I apologize! Please stop this travesty now!!
The Warriors: Warriors! Come out and……….you know what? Never mind. Stay where you are, or better yet run far, far away and hide.
Howard Stern’s Porky’s: The title says it all. I just…I have nothing to say about this one.
Like I said there are numerous others but I don’t know that I can stomach to list them here. I feel……I feel dirty. I’m gonna go take a shower now and drink some Listerine to get the bad taste out of my mouth. Be afraid people, be very afraid.