My Dad December 15, 2009
Posted by Dan in Denver, Nostlagia, People, Rants, Real Life, friends.1 comment so far
How do you describe someone in words whose not only your Dad but your hero and your best friend? My Dad taught me more that he’ll ever know. He taught me how to track, how to hunt, how to fish and how to find mushrooms in the wild even when it was still too dry according to the “experts”. He taught me how to appreciate nature, how to appreciate your family and how to respect women. My Dad taught me the meaning of bravery every time the fire alarm would go off at the station and he’d run down the street pulling on his gear.
I hated that fire station when I was a kid. I was too young to understand exactly what and where Dad went to do when the siren went off, all I knew was it took my Dad away from me. I know he enjoyed what he did, and I can still listen for hours to his stories of the fires he fought. It still didn’t make it any easier when you were young and you didn’t know exactly where your Dad was.
Some of my fondest memories are of things I’ve done with my Dad, be it fishing off the St. Joe dam for “the one that got away” or fishing out of the boat on Paw Paw lake with my sister, pulling fish in faster than Dad could take them off the hook and reset our worms. I remember him taking me to the movies lo those many years ago to see a little movie called Star Wars and being blown away from the get go. Of course he also took me to see Dawn of the Dead and scarred me for life (or at least till I was a teenager and forced myself to watch it again).
My Dad is the one person I knew who would always be there for me, in good times or bad no questions asked, I’ve been lucky to have him in my life. I know I haven’t always told him how much I love him and how much he means to me but I believe deep down inside that he knows that. He’s always there with a hug and a kiss on your forehead whenever you see him. And no matter how many times I’ve heard his stories I love to hear them again.
I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have my Dad, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer recently and is having a hard time as of late. The one thing I regret more than anything else in this world is not having children of my own to appreciate what a wonderful man their grandfather is. I never knew either of my grandfathers growing up and I’m afraid that my children won’t either. I’ll have a ton of stories to tell about him and I know the rest of my family will too but all the stories in the world can’t measure up to the great man that my father is.
I don’t know that my Dad will ever read this, I hope that he will and that he’ll know how much I love and respect him. I hope that the day that I have to say good-bye is a long time coming because I want to cherish every moment I have left with him. If you are reading this Dad, I just want to say that I love you very much and I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for all of us. You’ll never know how much just you being there for the small things meant to us. There are so many more things I could say about my father, so many stories to tell. Maybe one of these days I’ll put some of them down here to share but for right now they’re mine.
I’m sorry this isn’t the light-hearted stuff that I usually put out but I want the rest of the world (or those of you that still bother to read my stuff anyway) to know how proud I am of my father and how much he means to me. I count myself lucky to have had a Dad that was involved in my life and cared enough to be there for me through thick and thin.
I love you Dad.
Your son,
Daniel
When Animals….snark? October 10, 2009
Posted by Dan in Comedy, Commercials, Denver, Movies, People, Rants, Real Life, Tourism, music.1 comment so far
So I know it’s October and I should be doing a Halloween themed article or something scary-ish (like my follow up visit to Clayton and my second visit with Mary) but I’m just not feeling it right now. It’s snowing outside as I write this and I’m just not feeling the Halloween vibe. Instead I’m gonna write about something that usually irritates me but in this case I enjoy. Commercials. Hang on, hang on! Don’t leave yet! If Deej can write a post about Shake Weights why can’t I write a post about singing snarky animals on planes?
I don’t know if they show these commercials outside of the Denver area or not but we have a local airline called Frontier here that features animals on the tail section of their airplanes. A few years back some genius got the idea to make a series of commercial featuring these animals in a day of the life situation. I don’t know if that makes any sense or not but maybe this will. Please to enjoy.
That’s Jack. He’s one of the regular animals that they feature in their commercials and that’s about the tone for the majority of the commercials they air. Jack has a thing for Foxy who’s, you guessed it a fox which they explored a little bit in this series of commercials.
See why I like these commercials?
Since it is snowing outside (stupid snow) I have to post this one. This one I have to say is one of my favorites, you’ll see why.
I gotta hand it to whoever’s behind these things, they’re pretty creative. Flip the dolphin campaigned a few years back to go to Mexico or he was gonna go on strike. There are a whole series of commercials about it but I don’t want to subject you to them so I’m just gonna spoil it for you, he got to go. Unfortunately for Flip it didn’t go exactly as planned.
The last year or so when fuel prices sky rocketed Frontier, like a lot of airlines, got into financial troubles and had to declare bankruptcy and there was some talk of them being bought out by Southwest airlines. Southwest would have probably have changed the look of the planes to their ugly ass logo but fortunately for Frontier some one else bought them instead and decided to keep both the Frontier name and the animals on the tail section which brought us the latest installment.
If you got a laugh or at least a smile out of these there are a ton more on the interwebs. I’ll have some more actual content up soon, I just gotta get outta my funk first. Maybe I’ll even finish that post about Mary.
Can’t Watch This! (It’s too scary!) September 24, 2009
Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.9 comments
As hard as it is for some of you to believe there are a few movies out there that I cannot force myself to watch. It’s not because they’re bad (ok that’s lie some of them are bad) but because they scare the bejesus outta me. Yes, that’s right I said they scare me. Ok they probably wouldn’t scare me now but they did when I was a youngster and well that’s good enough for me.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow
I mentioned this one over on Guises’s page earlier. This was a made for TV movie back in the ’80’s and while I don’t really remember all the details I know there is a Wiki entry for it. Reading over it now it doesn’t seem that scary but when your a kid living in a new town in the middle of nowhere surrounded by corn fields and scarecrows this movie will scare the living crap outta you!
There aren’t a whole lotta clips on YouTube of this one which kind of surprises me. That’s the best one I could find and it doesn’t really convey how freaking creepy this movie truly was. There was one scene in a grain/corn silo that still creeps me out. Yes I’ve seen it since, not the movie, just that scene, and it’s not so bad now but when your 8-9 years old and hear stories about guys working in silos dying by suffocation or whatever it sticks with you.
Return of the Living Dead Part 2
Yes I know this is a zombie movie, yes I know it’s 20 years old and probably not that bad by today’s standards but I have yet to watch this thing a second time through. I saw (most of) it when it originally came out into theaters and it creeped me out so bad I haven’t been able to watch it again since. I put part one up for you, if you want more than that your on your own.
Why did it creep me out so much? Part of it is this guy!
I couldn’t even watch that whole damn clip he creeps me out so bad. I know that’s gonna cost me a lot of points with the Zombie loving community but how can you not find that guy creepy? Just the way he walks and looks…ugh!
I know there have been several sequels in that franchise since and I can watch those with no problems but part 2? No way in hell!
The title of that clip says the funniest scene from that movie, personally I don’t think it’s all that funny. The reason I posted that particular clip is because I couldn’t find the one that I really wanted that showed the half dissected ca (or maybe it was a dog) that came back to life and was barking and whining on the board it was pinned to. You can see in that clip the butterflies fluttering that are pinned to the board, just imagine that with a dog.
Okay enough about that one, I think I’ve devoted more than enough time/words to it as it is.
I do have a confession to make though, for a long time one of my now favorite movies would have been on this list if I hadn’t gotten the nerve to actually watch it again.
Dawn of the Dead
Now I watch this one at least once a year for my annual Zombie-thon and it doesn’t bother me at all but when your five years old and your Dad sneaks you into the movie, it leaves a mark on you! Again I couldn’t find the clip I wanted for this movie but if you’ve seen this one it involves a motor cycle vandal and a blood pressure machine. If you haven’t seen this one, then I got nothing for ya.
My last entrant on this list isn’t so much scary that I won’t watch it again as it is just bad. And I mean bad in a bad way as in “what the @#$! where they thinking?” bad. It’s a shame too because the first movie in the franchise is one of my favorites! Hell even the second one wasn’t bad! I’ll even give a pass to part 3-D but there’s no excusing part four. Yes I’m talking about the movie that will make you believe a shark can fly, I’m talking about….
Jaws: The Revenge
You know what, I’m not even gonna justify this one with a review. All I’m gonna “say” is this
What the @#$! was that!?!?
Where the deer and the antelope play! September 19, 2009
Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.6 comments
So I had planned on having a full fledged new post up before now but as Deej once told me, “Don’t make promises about new posts. It never happens!” Turns out Deej was right. I had a couple of ideas for blogs even and they would have been spectacular but alas they didn’t pan out. I may still get around to them but I’m not gonna make any promises that may or may not happen.
What’s that? What’s the deal with the title? Well I’m glad you asked! You see as I write this I am in Clayton New Mexico! Why are you in Clayton NM/Where is Clayton NM you may ask? Well even if you didn’t I’ll tell you! I am in Clayton to meet someone halfway between here and TX. The real deatails aren’t all that important but needless to say that Clayton (from what I’ve seen) has an abundance of one thing. Flies. If I get the courage to stop back at the local gas station/hang out I’ll take a picture of the “Big Bag O’ Flies” I have no freaking clue what this thing was but was surrounded by and filled with flies. Lots and lots of flies.
But what does that have to do with deer and antelope? Well nothing actually. I did pass some antelope on the way out here but they’re abugger to catch on a camera phone. I did however catch a picture of the Capulin Volcano! Can’t upload it though, I can’t send the picture to my email because I have no cell phone service! I do have broadband though which is a bonus! Of course the owner/manager of the hotel could possibly spring through the door and kill me at any time! You ever see that movie Vacancy? That’s about what this place is like!
AKA The Mary Motel
Why the Mary Motel? Because that’s the name of the owner/manager of this “fine” establishment. She scares me! She’s about 157 years old, about as tall as a yard gnome and has the personality of that hedge in the picture there. Thankfully it’s just for one night but if you don’t hear from me after today, look for my disfigured corpse in Clayton NM.
I'm so scared!!
Obligatory Place Holder August 28, 2009
Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.9 comments
OK I know I’ve been gone for a fair bit but I promise I will return sooner than you think! I have been keeping up with my blog roll on a fairly sporadic basis but I have been keeping tabs on all of you. You know that creepy homeless looking guy that you always think is following you? Yeah that’s me!
All kidding aside, real content coming and pretty darn soon!
Your a mean one Mr. Guise!! March 25, 2009
Posted by Dan in Monsters, People, Real Life, friends.8 comments
So since I lack a dependable internet connection at home lately I’ve been dependent on the free connection at the library. I don’t know how long it’s been since some of you have been to the library but they’ve changed quite a bit over the last few years. For starters there are specific sections now just for teenagers which happens to be the area where the tables are for people to set up laptops on.
I’m not sure at exactly what point I turned into a cranky old man but the kids that were at the library that day were loud and obnoxious as hell!
Well let me rephrase that, they were loud and obnoxious until this man showed up!
Okay, that’s really accurate but the guy looked an awful lot like him. Keep this picture in mind when you read the rest of this post.
I know that most of the people who read my blog also read the others listed on my blog roll and are familiar or at least know about Guise. Guise is a wonderful person, he really is! I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed the packages of goodies he’s sent me but don’t let him fool you, Guise is an evil, evil man!!
He comes off as a mild mannered, polite Brit but in actuality Guise will try to get you killed by Creepy Child Molester Man at the first opportunity. I know the blog has been kind of rambling up to this point but what follow is the transcript between Guise and I on one of my reent trips to the library. *Some names have been left out just because I can.
Me (3:00:51 PM): My connections not even safe at the library!! XD
Guise Dugal (3:01:52 PM): heh, revenge of the tweeners
Me (3:02:28 PM): Undoubtedly so!!! Little bastards were waiting for me to be in the middle of something and then sabotaged me!!!
Me (3:03:15 PM): although “Creepy child molester man” just scared all the tweeners off!!
Guise Dugal (3:03:33 PM): like all kids, just waiting to lull you in to false sense of security
Guise Dugal (3:04:23 PM): “creepy child molester man”, now there is a superhero gimmick…”Quick, to the Molestmobile!”
Me (3:05:23 PM): LMAO!! I’m serious he’s creepy as hell!! he’s wearing a suit and tie but carrying a radio and went straight to the kiddie section of the library!!
Me (3:06:01 PM): his exact words (I kid you not) were “What’s up guys? You remember me?”
Guise Dugal (3:06:39 PM): his molester-senses were tingling…and he frequently gets that tingling sensation…
Me (3:07:54 PM): I think you may be right!! And even better? Guess who he decides to set up shop by?
Guise Dugal (3:09:13 PM): heh, just remember “With great molestation comes great prosecutionability”
Me (3:10:02 PM): XD!! That’s too funny. I guess I don’t have to worry too much though, I’m a little old for him
Me (3:10:39 PM): He looks kind of like Martin Short, it’s really creepy!!
Guise Dugal (3:10:55 PM): is it too light out for him to see the MolestSignal in the sky…a silhouette of a hand holding a bag of candy…
Me (3:11:22 PM): your gonna get me in trouble!! he’s decided to talk to me and I’m trying not to laugh!!
Guise Dugal (3:12:02 PM): “so…is that spandex costume dry clean only…?”
Me (3:12:37 PM): XD your an evil, evil man!!!
Guise Dugal (3:12:57 PM): “…not a lot of men can pull off multi-coloured polka dots and gold y-fronts and booties..you amongst them”
Me (3:13:43 PM): If you don’t hear from me after today, tell the police to look out for Martin Short in a suit and carrying a boom box!!
Guise Dugal (3:14:19 PM): that’s one hell of a secret identity
Me (3:14:31 PM): indeed it is!!
Me (3:15:17 PM): God help me!! He’s just weird!!! I just hope I don’t feel a strange hand anywhere on me!!
Guise Dugal (3:16:02 PM): it’s a good thing he’s not a villain…I mean, what if his molestation powers be put to evil…The Fiddler…
Me (3:16:37 PM): You are so gonna get me killed!!
Guise Dugal (3:20:53 PM): “oh no, there are children in the kiddies section reading books without supervision, this looks like a job for… ” yes, mild-mannered Martin Short impersonator by day, but once he plays his magical boom-box he turns in to the superhero “…Creepy Child Molester Man! There isn’t a moment to spare, I just hope I packed enough pocket-warmed jelly babies!”
Me (3:21:57 PM): Yep, I’m a dead man!! I totally lost it on that one!! He’s giving his best Martin Short WTF look right now
Guise Dugal (3:23:26 PM): does this make you an arch-nemesis?
Me (3:24:28 PM): Hmmm what would my villain” name be I wonder?
Guise Dugal (3:25:41 PM): hm, the dastardly, the insidious…Innocent Bystander!
Guise Dugal (3:27:54 PM): Innocent Bystander and Creepy Child Molester Man, locked in constant turmoil as they each try to win the heart and soul of the Library
Me (3:29:19 PM): I just hope he’s not standing over my shoulder reading this with binoculars from the check out counter
Me (3:29:36 PM): Uh oh!! CCMM just made another move on the tweeners!!
Guise Dugal (3:31:05 PM): that’s not just the check out counter…that’s his secret lair…where he ‘checks out’ the citizens to ensure that his special molestation powers are not needed…
Me (3:32:21 PM): He’s back and insisting on talking to me!! I think he’s trying to figure out if I’ve caught on to his plans or not
Me (3:32:38 PM): I would take a picture with my phone but I’m afraid he’d kill me!!
Guise Dugal (3:32:55 PM): maybe he wants to make you his sidekick and not his enemy!
Me (3:33:38 PM): 0_0
Me (3:33:45 PM): that’s wrong on so many levels!!!
Guise Dugal (3:34:05 PM): his old sidekick may have been killed or moved on to become a hero in his own right, he’s just looking for a new Indecent Exposure Boy
Guise Dugal (3:36:24 PM): phew, still alive
Me (3:37:02 PM): I think his previous sidekick may have ben arrested!! I kid you not he’s at a table with two pre-teen girls chatting them up!!
Guise Dugal (3:37:48 PM): …are there no adults supervising?
Me (3:38:20 PM): there’s an occasional appearance by the cute librarian but other than that no.
Guise Dugal (3:43:46 PM): “well, gee golly Creepy Child Molester Man, it must be sure fun being a superhero,” “why yes, it is…but it’s also a lot of hard work, in fact, the only way I can keep my molestation powers up are to take my vitamins and drink my milk” “gosh, I never knew it was so important…I want to be just like you when I’m older, Creepy Child Molestation Man!” “Well, why not come out to my van in the parking lot, I’ll show you some of my super powers…by the way, do you like tootsie-rolls?”
Me (3:44:44 PM): He’s literally standing at the head of the table with his leg up on the chair right next to them. Oh and his name is Joseph! (help me!!)
Me (3:58:43 PM): He’s back!!!!!
Guise Dugal (4:00:13 PM): yeah, but you are still alive…which is a huge relief, I think XXXX might be a little miffed at me if I was to get you killed or violated…I mean, I’m sure she’d understand eventually, but I’m not sure how I’d break it to her
Me (4:00:27 PM): Gee thanks!
Guise Dugal (4:01:51 PM): “There was an incident at the Library involving Dan…a costumed character with molestation superpowers…and a copy of the book ‘The Very Hungry Caterpiller’…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Me (4:02:36 PM): Evidently he’s decided to try his powers of persuasion on me now. Despite the fact that I have headphones on.
Guise Dugal (4:04:50 PM): no-one can resist the Master of Molestation, the Forefather of Fiddling, the Dynamic Diddler…
Me (4:05:38 PM): Remind me to hurt you for this when I see you. He’s giving me the stare again.
Guise Dugal (4:06:29 PM): sure that’s not him practicing the superpower ‘x-rated vision’?
Me (4:06:43 PM): Ewwww!!!!
Guise Dugal (4:08:37 PM): …yes, Creepy Child Molestation Man’s x-rated vision allows him to see through clothes, no matter how many layers to whatever undergarments his mind puts you in or even to just bare skin…with this ability he’s able to seek honesty and see the naked truth
Me (4:09:04 PM): He still lives with Mommy too!
Guise Dugal (4:09:23 PM): stately Short basement?
Me (4:09:47 PM): Undoubtedly!!
Me (4:13:16 PM): He’s a bible thumper too evidently. He’s a molester for God!
Guise Dugal (4:14:07 PM): Diddling for Jeebus?
Me (4:14:23 PM): that’s what it’s sounding like
Me (4:17:26 PM): Oh how I wish you were in the States, I’d call you and let you hear this.
Guise Dugal (4:18:27 PM): would you really, really want me on the phone right now?
Me (4:18:44 PM): XD probably not!! We’d both end up dead!!
Guise Dugal (4:20:33 PM): heh, yeah…pretty sure it’d be a death warrant, and with me dead too who would tell XXXX what happened…she’d never know the truth…or she might become a villain herself to exact revenge on CCMM
Me (4:21:04 PM): The Mad Texan!!!
Me (4:22:52 PM): He’s back to Tweeners now. Thank Jeebus!
Guise Dugal (4:31:11 PM): martin short as mad hatter scares me…scares me baaaaad
Me (4:31:39 PM): And honestly that’s what he kind of looks like!!! The teeth and everything!!!
Guise Dugal (4:31:46 PM): oh man
Me (4:32:07 PM): I was gonna reference that but I wasn’t sure if you’d seen it or not
Guise Dugal (4:33:47 PM): heh, well…i know it now, wish i didn’t…
Me (4:34:33 PM): at least you don’t have the real life version staring at you across the table!!
Guise Dugal (4:41:31 PM): well, I’m gonna try and get a bit of sleep…you be careful and take care, hopefully catch you soon
Me (4:42:14 PM): Thanks! I hope you get some rest and get to feeling better. I think I’ll be leaving here soon myself, not crazy about the company!!
Guise Dugal (4:42:32 PM): but the company sure is crazy!
Me (4:42:45 PM): You got that right!!!
Guise Dugal (4:43:08 PM): take it easy, all the best to XXXX…get out of there alive and unmolested!
Me (4:43:26 PM): I’ll do my best! Cheers!
Guise Dugal went away at 4:43:40 PM.
We’re off to see the Wizards! October 30, 2008
Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.6 comments
So I was talking to Deej last night about cartoons from our childhood that we’d like to see again and that brought to mind one of my favorite movies that used to creep the hell outta me when I was a kid. It’s a little flick called Wizards.
Ever seen it? Not many people that I’ve talked to have but if you have it’s one of those movies you either love or hate. I know I just did a movie post yesterday but the post I intended for today isn’t ready yet and while this isn’t technically Halloween related it was scary (to me anyway) when I first saw it.
Rather than try to describe what Wizards is about I’ll let you watch the trailer instead.
Like Heavy Metal this was aimed at an adult audience instead of kids but kids still found ways of seeing it. I don’t remember how I saw it the first time but it’s been one of those movies that has stuck with me for a long, long time. I think what made Wizards such a different movie was it combined live action footage with animated but it was done in such a way that the live action looked animated as well. I don’t know if that sentence made any sense or not but if you watched the trailer you saw what I mean, if you didn’t watch the trailer then use your imagination!
The coolest part about Wizards (asides from Elinore’s perpetual nipple shot) was Peace. Peace is the guy up there on the poster, he was originally an assassin for Blackwolf but is zapped by Avatar and turned to the side of good. The other cool thing about Wizards? The character of Sean is voiced by Mark Hamill, pre-Star Wars, pre-Batman.
If your interested in watching Wizards, they actually have it on YouTube and I even saved you the trouble of looking for it!
Part 1
part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 , part 8
I know this post is pretty light on content and I apologize, I’ll try to make it up to you on tomorrow’s post. Until then I’ll leave you with another bit of animation that creeped the hell outta me when I was younger courtesy of Heavy Metal.
It’s the Great Pumpkin (Patch) Charlie Brown!! (Part One) October 26, 2008
Posted by Dan in Halloween, Holidays, People, Real Life, Tourism, Uncategorized.Tags: corn maze, Halloween, pumpkins, Real Life
2 comments
I’ve been a bad blogger. I’ve been back for a week and am just now getting a new post up. I’d give you an excuse but honestly there isn’t one so what I’ll do instead is tell you about my trip to the most awesome pumpkin patch I’ve ever been to! Granted it’s the only pumpkin patch I’ve ever been to but that’s besides the point!! I have to admit when my niece first asked me to go I agreed to it but wasn’t really looking forward to it. Images of stumbling over broken gourds and stepping in rotting pumpkin guts just didn’t sound like fun to me. I’m so happy I was wrong, this place was nothing like what I’d imagined. This place had it all, a corn maze, tractor rides, home made root beer and even celebrities but we’ll get to them in a bit.
So we pulled up and the place was packed, evidently today was “every school in Colorado come to Miller Farms” day because there were kids everywhere!!! You couldn’t throw a pumpkin without hitting a kid, trust me I tried it! The first thing that really caught my eye though were all the tractors and things out in front trying to lure you in.
Yes they even had planes!
Now I’m no expert by any means but are planes standard issue for pumpkin patches? The only reason I ask is because this place had not one but two of them! I don’t have a picture of the second plane but trust me it was there!
So after registering and checking in and all the official b.s. that goes with school trips we got into the actual pumpkin patch itself and what farm would pass up the chance to sell their own wares? Not this place!
I gotta admit I do dig the pink tractor. Go cancer awareness!!
Like I said it’s an awesome farm and I’m a little emberassed that I’ve not stopped into it before now, I’ve been driving by it on an almost weekly basis for about three years now. Even without the stuff for sale they took the time to make the farm/market area visually appealing.
There’s all kinds of little things like that around to catch the eye, I’m just a sucker for water wheels so that’s why it made it into the post and some of the other things didn’t. I know it’s not technically a water wheel but it’s my blog and my pictures so there! ;P
Enough about all the crap they had for sale though, your not here and can’t buy it so let’s just head into the “attraction” part of the farm shall we?
I really have to hand it to this place, they went out of their way to make this place kid friendly, from the shoe above to the giant bug below they had a ton of things for kids to climb and play on.
Sorry for the sun glare
They also had a really cool fire truck that kids were drawn to like magnets!
That's the kid responsible for me taking all the pictures.
I guess at night they do a haunted house/slash corn maze thing but seeing as we were there at 10:00 in the morning the haunted house was a little less intimidating.
It didn't look this glary when I was taking the picture honest!! (and yes glary is a real word, I just made it up)
They claimed they had a petting zoo but it turns out wht they consider a petting zoo was just a bunch of goats and a really pissed off llama.
Evil little bastard!
He's trying to figure out how to kill me without getting caught.
Now I like animals, I really do! Cats, dogs, rats, horses, goats, guinea pigs you name it! Everything except camels, I fucking HATE camels!!! If someone offered me a lifetime supply of camel burgers I’d take them up on it in a heartbeat even if it tasted like crap!
Why do I hate camels so much? Long story short, when I was a wee lad I went to the Chicago zoo to their petting zoo to see the animals. One of the animals they had out for kids was a camel but this particular camel was addicted to cigarettes. People would feed them to him and he was addicted to the nicotene is what I’m guessing. Anyway, I was ablivious to this, I mean I saw people giving him smokes but when your five you don’t think anything of it! I reached up to pet him and the bastard bit me!! I didn’t do a damn thing to him to deserve it, he just opened his freaky big mouth, grabbed me by the arm and chomped! My Dad was quck to act and got my arm free and proceeded to deck the camel in the nose but to this day I cannot stand camels, if they all fell over dead tomorrow I’d dance a jig and put it up on YouTube.
So now that we have that out of the way, let’s get back to this llama. I don’t know if he was pissed because I didn’t have any food to offer him or if a goat had kicked him in the nuts but he was in a foul mood. The goats? No problems! They came up and were extremely friendly (if not a wee bit…ok a whole lot of smelly). The llama however didn’t have a thing to do with anyone! My niece was able to pet it briefly before it realized what that it was letting a lowly human pet it and pulled back. I figured I’d give it a shot and extended my hand so it couod check me out, which it did and gave it a brief scratch behind the ears. Maybe that’s llama code for kiss my ass or something but this thing reared back and gave me this look like it wanted to bit my face off and I backed off before it decided it wanted to spit at me.
We decided at this point it was time to do the hay ride before the ride got to be too long, little did we know what was in store for us on that fateful trip. I know what happens but you’ll have to wait for the next post to read about it. I’ll do my best to have it up on Monday, Tuesday at the latest. I’ve got several Halloween related posts in mind including a scary zombie story that’s only 2 weeks late (sorry Guise). I guarantee the next post will be celebrity filled and action packed. Ok only one of those is actually true, you’ll have to come back to find out which.
Well crap! October 13, 2008
Posted by Dan in Uncategorized.Tags: Down Time
5 comments
Since it seems Josh and Doho have jinxed us all with computer problems it looks like I’m next in line. Yes kiddies my computer is currently DOA so I won’t be around for a bit or if I am it’ll be sporadically. I’m pretty sure it’s an easy fix, so I shouldn’t be out long.
The good news is I have a post or two in mind for when I do get back so I’ll replace this with actual content when I’m up and running again.
What we’ve got here is…failure to communicate September 4, 2008
Posted by Dan in DNC, People, Politics, Rants, Uncategorized.13 comments
Ok I think I’ve done a pretty good job of staying politically neutral (on my site anyway) up to this point but I’ve been following the presidential race pretty closely this year. Yeah I posted some stuff about the DNC but it was right here in my own back yard (so to speak) so I felt obliged to at least mention it but lately I’ve been hearing things that have just made my blood boil. So this is your warning, if you don’t want to read my political views now’s your chance to leave, no hard feelings.
Still there? OK I warned you! I’m also gonna warn you know this is probably gonna have a lot of NSFW language in it so if your easily offended you’ve been warned.
I admit it, I’ve not been really involved in politics up to this point. I’ve voted for my party’s candidate and for all his flaws I thought Bill Clinton was a pretty good president. Yeah he screwed up (no pun intended) but that didn’t affect what he did for this country. Then 8 years ago things changed, the Republican party basically stole the election and W was put into office. I’m not gonna go off on W in this post, I could and I really am tempted to but his term is almost up and hopefully we’ll start to turn things around here soon. That brings me to the point of today’s post, the upcoming election between Barrack Obama and John McCain. I’m not gonna say my candidate is better than yours because we’re all adults and that’s just infantile to me. You know what else is infantile and chaps my ass more so than anything else I’ve heard during this election year? The amount of rhetoric I’ve heard tossed around about Barrack Obama. I can’t tell you how many sites I’ve seen or people I’ve heard interviewed saying that they won’t vote for Obama because he’s African American. Or how many uninformed people out there that are convinced that he’s a Muslim and will turn America over to terrorists. Oh and the idiots who are convinced he’s not even an American citizen because he has a fake birth certificate. Really people? You actually believe this bullshit? Do we as a country have our heads so far up our collective asses that we’d rather suffer for four more years of W’s failed policies and practices than even consider electing a black man as president? If that’s the case then I’m moving to Canada with Josh because I’m tired of being bent over and getting screwed.
Don’t think it would be any different if Hillary Clinton were the Democratic nominee either. You know damn well all these intolerant dip shits would be saying something ignorant like they wouldn’t put a woman in the White House because she’d get her period and start a war or some stupid shit like that. I honestly am amazed at how intolerant people can be. I thought we were living in the 21st century and people were supposed to be civilized and (semi-)intelligent but I guess I was wrong. I’m just amazed that people are so quick to judge someone on the color of their skin. I know I shouldn’t be, we live in a world that’s produced people like Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong Il so why should the ignorant bigots here be any different but these are the same people who don’t vote but are so vocal about how bad things are in this country. I’m sorry, if you don’t get off your ass and exercise your constitutional right to vote for change then sit down and shut the fuck up! I’ve heard all the arguments, “Why should I vote? It’s not like my vote matters!” You know what? That’s bullshit and you and I both know it! Every vote counts (unless you live in Florida and your brother is the governor and gives you the election)! Ask yourself this when election day rolls around this November. Are you better or worse off now than you were 8 years ago? If you have to think about the things you’ve lost and the hardships you’ve endured over the last 8 years then get out and vote! Do your part to make a change in this country damn it! Don’t just sit on your couch, drinking beer and bitching about how bad things have gotten. If you don’t like Obama fine, then vote for McCain or hell vote for Mickey fucking Mouse but do something for God’s sake! Doing nothing is not helping you out at all, and if you do that then you have no fucking right to bitch about a damn thing you lazy ass!
If I’ve offended you then I apologize, don’t read my blog but if your offended then I must have hit a nerve somewhere to piss you off. If your one of the non-voters that I’m talking about then I’m not sorry, I’ve got a right to express my opinion and by golly I’m damn well gonna do it here! If you don’t like my views then start your own blog and post them there! If you have your own blog already then feel free to blast me to your hearts content but do something! Our country is in the shape it’s in right now because of people who failed to act, people who are content to let whatever happens happen and then bitch about it. I admit it, I used to be one of those people, then I lost my job and have been struggling to find a job and get by since then. I vowed that no matter who the Democrats nominated I’d support them against whoever the Republicans put up because 8 years of W’s shit is enough!
Do I expect this to change anyone’s opinions? No. Do I expect many people to read this? Not really, but I couldn’t sit by and listen to the lies and the hate that are being spewed on a daily basis anymore and not express my views. Do yourself a favor and do some research for yourself and make your own decision about who you want to vote for. Ask yourself how your doing now under the current regime versus how you were doing under Clinton. All I know is under Clinton, the economy was good, the national debt was down, the dollar was doing good, gas prices were low and there were jobs for the people who wanted them. Now gas is higher than it’s ever been, the job market sucks, the dollar is in the basement and our great-great-grand-kids are gonna be paying off this war that we’re in. Do I have faith that if McCain wins things will get any better? Not on your life. They like to throw around that he’s a maverick and that he was a POW. I’m nopt discrediting his war record at all but I fail to see how he’s a “maverick” when he voted with Bush 90% of the time. And you’d think with him being a veteran and a former POW he’d have more sympathy for other vets but he’s voted against bills that would offer better medical benefits to veterans. Look up his voting records in congress and see what, if anything, he’s done to help you and I out.
I could go on and on about how strongly I feel about this election but I’m sure that I’ve already pissed most of you off and you’ve stopped reading by now but if you haven’t please think about what you really want in the next President. Do you want someone who’s going to look out for the middle class and work to get us back on our feet or do you want someone who doesn’t know how many houses he has and is so out of touch with middle America it’s not even funny. Feel free to comment if your so inclined, even if it’s negative I’ll still post it because I believe everyone’s entitled to their opinion. If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading and I promise my next post won’t be so political or so angry.
