Dan’s Corner of the Internet

I’ve been a bad blogger. I’ve been back for a week and am just now getting a new post up. I’d give you an excuse but honestly there isn’t one so what I’ll do instead is tell you about my trip to the most awesome pumpkin patch I’ve ever been to! Granted it’s the only pumpkin patch I’ve ever been to but that’s besides the point!! I have to admit when my niece first asked me to go I agreed to it but wasn’t really looking forward to it. Images of stumbling over broken gourds and stepping in rotting pumpkin guts just didn’t sound like fun to me. I’m so happy I was wrong, this place was nothing like what I’d imagined. This place had it all, a corn maze, tractor rides, home made root beer and even celebrities but we’ll get to them in  a bit.

So we pulled up and the place was packed, evidently today was “every school in Colorado come to Miller Farms” day because there were kids everywhere!!! You couldn’t throw a pumpkin without hitting a kid, trust me I tried it! The first thing that really caught my eye though were all the tractors and things out in front trying to lure you in.

Now I’m no expert by any means but are planes standard issue for pumpkin patches? The only reason I ask is because this place had not one but two of them! I don’t have a picture of the second plane but trust me it was there!

So after registering and checking in and all the official b.s. that goes with school trips we got into the actual pumpkin patch itself and what farm would pass up the chance to sell their own wares? Not this place!

Like I said it’s an awesome farm and I’m a little emberassed that I’ve not stopped into it before now, I’ve been driving by it on an almost weekly basis for about three years now. Even without the stuff for sale they took the time to make the farm/market area visually appealing.

There’s all kinds of little things like that around to catch the eye, I’m just a sucker for water wheels so that’s why it made it into the post and some of the other things didn’t. I know it’s not technically a water wheel but it’s my blog and my pictures so there! ;P

Enough about all the crap they had for sale though, your not here and can’t buy it so let’s just head into the “attraction” part of the farm shall we?

I really have to hand it to this place, they went out of their way to make this place kid friendly, from the shoe above to the giant bug below they had a ton of things for kids to climb and play on.

They also had a really cool fire truck that kids were drawn to like magnets!

I guess at night they do a haunted house/slash corn maze thing but seeing as we were there at 10:00 in the morning the haunted house was a little less intimidating.

They claimed they had a petting zoo but it turns out wht they consider a petting zoo was just a bunch of goats and a really pissed off llama.

Now I like animals, I really do! Cats, dogs, rats, horses, goats, guinea pigs you name it! Everything except camels, I fucking HATE camels!!! If someone offered me a lifetime supply of camel burgers I’d take them up on it in a heartbeat even if it tasted like crap!

Why do I hate camels so much? Long story short, when I was a wee lad I went to the Chicago zoo to their petting zoo to see the animals. One of the animals they had out for kids was a camel but this particular camel was addicted to cigarettes. People would feed them to him and he was addicted to the nicotene is what I’m guessing. Anyway, I was ablivious to this, I mean I saw people giving him smokes but when your five you don’t think anything of it! I reached up to pet him and the bastard bit me!! I didn’t do a damn thing to him to deserve it, he just opened his freaky big mouth, grabbed me by the arm and chomped! My Dad was quck to act and got my arm free and proceeded to deck the camel in the nose but to this day I cannot stand camels, if they all fell over dead tomorrow I’d dance a jig and put it up on YouTube.

So now that we have that out of the way, let’s get back to this llama. I don’t know if he was pissed because I didn’t have any food to offer him or if a goat had kicked him in the nuts but he was in a foul mood. The goats? No problems! They came up and were extremely friendly (if not a wee bit…ok a whole lot of smelly). The llama however didn’t have a thing to do with anyone! My niece was able to pet it briefly before it realized what that it was letting a lowly human pet it and pulled back. I figured I’d give it a shot and extended my hand so it couod check me out, which it did and gave it a brief scratch behind the ears. Maybe that’s llama code for kiss my ass or something but this thing reared back and gave me this look like it wanted to bit my face off and I backed off before it decided it wanted to spit at me.

We decided at this point it was time to do the hay ride before the ride got to be too long, little did we know what was in store for us on that fateful trip. I know what happens but you’ll have to wait for the next post to read about it. I’ll do my best to have it up on Monday, Tuesday at the latest. I’ve got several Halloween related posts in mind including a scary zombie story that’s only 2 weeks late (sorry Guise). I guarantee the next post will be celebrity filled and action packed. Ok only one of those is actually true, you’ll have to come back to find out which.